NikonD / 01.17 / Iceland
An excerpt from “Final Resting Place”.
My body violently jerks out of sleep. Like in the movies when you see someone wake up in a dream. It’s never happened to me before.
It’s happening right now and I feel it — perhaps the strangest sensation I have ever experienced. My body rises out of bed and makes its way to the downstairs back door as if being controlled remotely.
My body senses the disconnect and tries to kick into gear — catching up to current movement — but it can’t. It feels like I’m tripping and I hate that sensation. I don’t let it take over this time. This is meant to happen — don’t fight it.
I arrive at the back door as it swings open — the backyard is visible through tunnel vision and everything outside the radius is blurred. Tunnel vision — like the depression sometimes.
Refocus. This is beyond me and my thoughts. However, this dream is more informative than the others.
Even now, my thinking takes over. I stop and just wait, the expanse of the green before me. The backyard trees form a dark canopy gently lit by the dim moon. Just enough to see directly in front of me. Then something from the far right corner comes into view.
My hesitation almost tears me away, but I stay. Accept it.
And who approaches — none other than Buddy, the neighbor’s dog. He is not floating though, his pace is quicker and purposeful. He comes and sits about ten feet before me. His eyes are wide open and his mouth appears to be smiling — almost. He sits there for me simply to enjoy his presence. A joyous feeling takes over.
And almost as quickly as he appears — it’s over.
“The world’s trash and mutts – the whole lot of them, in ships every day by the dozen.” – Matilde H. Journal Entry (est. 1880) recording of an overheard comment during passage to an American port (NYC). German Immigrant – 16 at the time of passage. Traveled alone.
Or, personal labels I am comfortable with – by Matilde H. (1883)
My sense of beauty is Italia,
simple yet bold.
pragmatism of Deutschland
thoughtful and structured
attitude towards others of France
laissez-faire but curious
passion of Scotland
misunderstood yet strong
presence of England
conservative and reserved
pace of España
relaxed with meaning
purpose of Ireland
complicated and symbolic
surroundings are Kongeriket Norge
filled with peaceful tranquility
I do not love them,
Nor hate them.
I am with them.
Digital collage inspired by the beauty of pine trees and the passing of time.
Recoloring + additional effects
This photo was taken at the Trapp Family Lodge Resort in Stowe, Vermont. March 2018.
Digital Collage. The photo was taken on George’s Island. Boston Harbor. 2016.
This photo was taken in the Fall of 2017 in the Blue Hills Reservation. Milton, Massachusetts.
Chinese Benevolence Center Koy Pond. San Diego, California. October 2017
Digital photo collage. Images were taken in July 2017. Montreal Nightclub.
In lieu of fog, mirrors and blinds will obstruct just fine.
More fun with shapes.
I Wish I Had My Mask On
An old common and tired refrain.
A Lullaby for the Restless
Most likely because I am awful
at misunderstandings in general,
self-promotion in particular.
On my own schedule to a fault.
Your circadian rhythm –
My cirCANT-ian rhythm
The body resists even the most primitive form of authority.
I need a process for my days, hours, minute bursts of focus.
And yes, some conformity is necessary — that much I now know.
(connections are a consequence of deep focused thought. The connections are made carefully, to the degrees most probable. But I must better express my line of thinking to others — as they will be more likely to see.
I often even forget to put (the) in front of sentences that need them.)
a bridge for me
to the other side of self-exploration, I desperately need.
This is a tribal calling card –
your collaboration is wanted, now more than ever.
Please forgive all the errors,
they will soon be rewarded.